Memories

Assalammualaikum

Just now, I was re-arranging my diary, which is tearing apart because its really thick and just as it begins to reach middle page, the one at the front starts to fall apart. But, I just love it so much I'd re-arrange it every time. So, as for today I did the same thing, only this time I read them, one by one.

The beginning, was the story which I wrote about my parents when the were divorced but they are not anymore; the first 10 pages are about them. Then, it leads to new year, as I bought the diary on the brink of 2011. That took in about 14 pages and so. Then the story leads to Ady. The boy who I never lets go. Never seem to be able to let him go, not by purpose, but by hearts desire. About him, is just so many. That took about 30 pages.

Other stories in lead I just browsed passed it and simply turns and turns to the next one. However, my hands stop as soon as the my eyes sees the tittle with his name in it. I simply can't continue and read it so. The story of the memories that I faced with him last year (2011). You know I always tell my stories in detail, as of course this one is too. I was reading and reading and without purpose, I was smiling. Smiling in remembering the great time I've had with him.

He as we all know it has moved to somewhere else. A better place, without a doubt. His aim was there and he did it. This years determination was for me to let him go. I did so. Well, I thought so. I un-friend him on Facebook and un-followed him on Twitter. I thought by doing this, there will be no more of any reminders of him. But then, there are still memories, and memories can't be erase by anything in this world. It is berried deeply in every mind of man kind. For a while, I simply forgot a little about him, but then even I can't escape it. Because, even I wrote about in books, papers, in social networks, and it'll always be there.

I can't lie anymore. I really can't. If I have to fall in love with that jerk, I accept. Because, there is nothing I can do when my heart has always been for him and has chosen him at the very beginning. I will try to move on and better yet, find someone to replace his place which I hope could found. I hope so. I really really hope so. InsyaAllah? Amin.