Current Issues

Lately, I don't have any personal problems. I don't have any school or family related problems. But I have problem with time. I'm 17 and the wake up call that was beside me, reminding me the importance of this year and how well I managed my time then, had left. Now everything is a mess. I have school and the piling up homework, the bag business and pending orders that seriously needs to be done fast, the arts assignment which is due next week and the freaking test that's in session in two weeks! There is just so much things to do and I'm pretty sure I'm not a robot, I mean do you see any metals under this flash or these thick layers of fats? Yeah, NO

And if you're suggesting me to stop doing the bag business for a while, I am doing that. I have another 3 bags to be done, then I'll be putting up a hold to it. But even with that out of the picture, there's the other 3. I scored quite well on my first test and I don't want to narrow the percentage down on the second. I'd love to see improvements. Another problem; Lately I also have been having mood swings. Even when its not my time of the month! And this mood swings are like poison to me cause I would have to give in or suffer internal pain or even death. I don't have the mood to do anything. When I read a book, a school book, I expect the knowledge to stick in my head but no, it repels. There's an immune wall that's chasing away and blocking the things that I read to enter my brain, so all of it is pointless. When this happens, I turn to my bag business. Still, the mood swings kills my creativity. When you don't have the mood or inspiration to do it, the things you wish to draw or create will turn to this shitty piece of shit that you could just throw in the bin or burn into ashes. So no, I'd end up not doing that also. And when this two important things can't be done, I'd turn on this laptop and like now, I'd be pouring my heart's rage on to this insupportable blog

I worry very much. Too much. My parents think that I'm taking things easy cause they've never seen me holding a book at all and while I'm here trying to fight for my reasons, I bail and retreat. Its pointless cause they'll always have their own proof and it becomes the current issue. The things that I was fighting for is no longer permit. And all of their 'accusations' have become the truth.

Its a problem I need to solve soon. Or forever I wouldn't rest in peace